Total Darkness

I have a crush.

Totally unattainable as I’m so not his type. He wants that typical slim, petite, fair domestic Goddess that has been built up by Asian society to be the epitome of how Asian women should be!
I’m dark – not so much but by Sri Lankan definitions I am.

I am sick and tired of how you have to be fair to be pretty in our society! Why is that? Having more melanin apparently makes you that much more unattractive! Can you imagine how being told on a regular basis (basically at LEAST 4 times a month) that “If only God had blessed you with being fair – then you’d be even more beautiful.”? Gee thanks!! Way to boost a girl’s confidence! Maybe I should just throw this back at them. Maybe I’m this colour because God wants me to be healthy more than anything else! Have you ever thought about that?!
As a teenager, it used to bother me a great deal. So much so that I hated looking at myself in the mirror. Like maybe I had a very mild form of BDD but as I got older, I saw the nicer things I had to offer – I’m alright looking, being dark should not hinder the fact that I have a nice personality (I’m modest too!), I’m a gooood dancer, I’m smart and a lot of fun to be around! Ok, so maybe clutching at straws but I immersed myself in the life that I wanted, not that what had been dictated to me. I surrounded myself with good friends and one of the reasons I’m confident in my own shell now is due to B, my best friend (more about her later) and S – my ex. It restored my faith in human compassion and kindness – that people can be loved for who they and not for what they look like!

What pisses me off even more is I’ve seen some girls out there who are fair and they’re not ugly but they are so plain and similar as the next fair girl but I’ve seen dark girls who are beautiful and people just can’t see it. I guess it takes a “Darkie” to know a fellow beautiful one!

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10 thoughts on “Total Darkness

  1. hey, even I’m a dark girl..:) thing is, my mum’s fair and my dad’s dark.. I’ve totally taken after my dad while my bro’s taken after my mum.. I never had a problem with my skin complexion but I do know people who say stuff about it..I think whats more important is personality and attitude than some stupid complexion.. People can always have their preferences alright…I hate these fairness cream ads sometimes.. coz they keep sayin being fair is being beautiful.. whereas it’s not the case always!then again, we’re not the ones who’re losing..:) so do not worry.. I think some dark women are absolutely stunning.. it’s all about how you carry yourself..Keep your head high lady.. and things will be fine.. do not listen to the stupid things society throws at ya..But, I must say i have a thing for fair guys.. but I would never say that dark guys will not be considered….coz afterall you know what they say… the best comes from the ‘tall, dark and handsome’ ones..:-D

  2. Sweetheart,Don’t mind them. I am dark (more like a good copper tone) and no means a what they call handsome. But I walk tall. I get looks and comments from every sort of girls when I walk through the campus (in Berkeley CA). I also fool around with them and then I show the photo of my dark girl friend to them. Whoa! They go in to shock and tell me that I could find more beautiful girl any time. But I tell them that there will never be a more beautiful girl than mine, inside or outside.(Even writing about her makes me hot ;))(no we are not a new couple, it is four years now! waiting for her finish her PhD. You will find who will love you for what you are.Smile now! DiorDna

  3. “If only God had blessed you with being fair – then you’d be even more beautiful.”I would reply with a “perhaps God might have blessed you with the tact to keep your nose out of things that do not concern you – you might possibly be less repugnant to talk to.”

  4. M: There’s nothing that says that dark guys can’t look for fair girls. I’ll post it!LD: I totally get it. We know that personality is important but it’s not relaly adhered to in society. Fairness cream adverts suck! Walking with my head held high is the way I roll now! 😉 And btw – your blog rocks.Anon: You are a legend!! Thank you. Good luck to you and your girly.Darwin: Elderly Sri Lankan relatives are not likely to even get it but I would if they did! And your blog rocks too!

  5. I don’t mind dark girls at all, what I look for is clear skin. The clearer the better, it does’nt matter if its fair or dark.A good figure and nice features are also desirable but a good personality is the most important fact.

  6. Bullshit. There are absolutely stunning dark skinned girls, this being fair stuff is utter rubbish. I’d pick being brown over being pasty white anyday.B’sides, having more melanin means you get sunburnt less easily which means that as we grow older, we age much much much better 😀 our skin remains looking younger for longer because it hasnt been as damaged. maybe you could try a retort like ‘yes, natural sunblock, isnt it lovely that i dont have to worry about getting wrinkly early like fair ppl’ :Dmaybe that’ll shut people up? let me know if it works :Djust out of curiosity how old is this boy? i think they tend to start out with these idiotic visual ideals but grow up after a while n learn to be grateful for a girl with personality 🙂

  7. *sigh*…my grandma used to harp on about how I should have been fairer and things would have been ‘easier’ if I was more like my mum…Imagine saying that to a shy 15 year old?! Ego-buster!!It’s worst here, in Malaysia, where Chinese men don’t even look at women who are a Indian and stuff. I have friends who get pissed off coz our other mates tease them with Indian chicks and they actually (I swear to God) say: ‘she’s so dark. Wtf is wrong with you?’It’s an Asian social stigma and it sucks. But I guess when you actually meet a person who had overcome all that, you’d know how wonderful he really is, innit?!

  8. Pingback: Connotations | scrumpyandherheart

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