And Still Counting…

Yes I’m still counting. It’s been 6 weeks nearly since S and I have stopped talking. We were together officially for 2 years and then we did the whole unofficial thing on and off for about 4 years. Don’t ask me why I didn’t stop it as soon as we officially ended it. It would have saved me a whole lot of hassle and heart ache.

The last lie was also the last straw so I haven’t called, text or emailed him. In fact, I think I’m finally getting the closure that I needed.

The only thing is now I’m starting to miss him. He was, for a very long time, my best friend.The first person I would confide in, share with and laugh with. The first phone call in my time of need regardless of the hour, the one with whom I shared all my hopes, dreams and ambitions. I miss having someone to share that with. My imminent birthday will be the first of 8 years that I haven’t had him in my life for so that whole nostalgic feeling is making me feel like shit.

I don’t hate him. In fact, I feel sorry for him more so than anything else. The fact that he felt the need to lie to me (again) saddens me. And over such a trivial thing too. Especially after I’d made it clear that the best thing for both of us was to move on. It saddens me because it seems as though he wasn’t mature enough to deal with it.

What has amazed me the most though, is how nonchalant I feel about it. And I’m impressed with myself because if any had told me I’d be like this at the beginning of the year – I would have disagreed completely; determined with the though that S and I were meant to be!

Time is definitely a healer!


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