Jellyfish

The post might give you too much information so read at your own peril!

I know women complain about it all the time. The fact that we (women) have to go through it and that men don’t – well debateable I guess depending on the men you know. But yes – that time of the month (TTOTM).

I don’t moan about it too much. I mean – it’s the way of the world. I don’t mind the aches and pains – probably because these don’t affect me that much. What I hate is how emotional it makes me! I never used to be like this – TTOTM would come and go and I would happily carry on with my day to day (albeit mundane) life.

This month though, I am so emotional it’s too crap. We all know that I’m emotional at the best of times. The thing is, I miss S. I know I shouldn’t. What I should mention here is that S came to New York; I don’t think I’ve mentioned that before (!). And not that I was expecting it to be a massive love fest because I truly believed at that time (and still do) it was over but I was expecting it to be fun. For the four of us (S, siblings and I) to have laughs. It didn’t turn out like that. It seemed my siblings took S’ side whenever he was making fun out of me. If I suggested doing anything other than shopping or stopping to take photos of random things – everything was ridiculed. Maybe that explains why I felt like this about it once I got back.
To cut a long and boring story short, S and I haven’t spoken since we got back. That was 5 weeks ago (yeah, I’m counting; yeah, I’m a saddo!) and since then I haven’t called or texted him. This is a big thing for me. It is hard to just lock someone off who has been a constant in your life for nearly 8 years. Someone who you’ve had communication with at least 90% of that time. We didn’t even have an argument. We just didn’t talk. And that in itself is enough for me to know that any hope I had that things could have worked themselves out between us (so I’m an optimist – sue me!).

But now it’s TTOTM and yesterday I cried. I miss him. I miss the amicable banter between us. I miss the fact that I didn’t have anyone to talk about the inauguration with. I miss hearing his voice. Even as I write it brings tears to my eyes and what with being at work, that’s probably not a good thing.
Why does TTOTM make me so emotional? I had an argument with my siblings about why they call each other instead of me when asking for a lift (petty I know) if I’m the one that’s coming to pick them up. It’s like calling a taxi company and the controller telling me where and when to go. I know this is something that’s stupid. Something that I wouldn’t usually even think about twice but yesterday it reduced me to tears.
TTOTM is awful. If I’m emotional at the best of times, TTOTM reduces me to a bawling overemotional jellyfish (what an analogy!).

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14 thoughts on “Jellyfish

  1. hey u… honestly, i think u’d be feelin this way abt S no matter wat time o month it is.. its kinda natural, considering ur history n all.. n hey, i say if somethin does affect u, you should let it out instead o pretendin to be k with it just cos ur sposed to…but this too shall pass… 🙂

  2. Isn’t The Pill also meant to give you a mustache and a double chin eventually?don’t trust me though ;)I’ve had Monthly Bawling Overemotional Jellyfish Syndrome too. Not Pleasant – but it’s ALWAYS like that for me :(I know TTOTM will be gone soon honey -just ride it out and you’ll feel tons better once its over.

  3. Oh dear. I know the feeling. Cry…cry as much as you want…it’s the only time you have an excuse ;-).But seriously…Evening Primrose Oil sometimes helps, and so does watching the calendar. If you know beforehand that you’re going to feel shit, you might be pleasantly surprised when it’s not that bad :-). And I agree with Gehan about not pretending that everything’s ok when it’s not.

  4. I’m incredibly relieved that I’m not the only hormonal bag of emotions at TTOTM. I HATE it when my emotions run amok and mess with me. Chin up. 🙂 And stay away from Jerry, he’s actually groping you not patting you. 😛

  5. Darwin: I think the pill helps with the physical symptoms (aches and pains) but I hardly get those.Gehan: It's not a girly post! You are lovely innit? And if that's the case – Jerry is nearly as girly as you!Makuluwo: Nice to know I'm not alone!BlackExists: Thank you. I'm pretty sure I'm ok now!Pseudo: I'll look into the Primrose oil. Thank you.Sabby & Dee: Thank you! *hugs* back atcha!Jerry: “Pat, pat”?! Patronising much?! :-PT: I’m so pleased – not because you cry so much but beacuse you never cry and if it even makes you emotional then it must be bad! ;-)Gutter: Well, at least someone is!Jerry: I’m a jellyfish – not a lion!

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