So coffee. I was waiting patiently – AJ was running late. As a Tamil, we are renowned for our tardiness and I refuse to fall into this category which means I get to places ridiculously early. About 15 minutes go by when I feel someone hovering over my shoulder – AJ! He kind of just nods his head at me and then walks to meet me (he wasn’t actually in the coffee shop you see). He comes in and says hello and sits down at the table. Immediately, I am aware of the height difference. *crap* is what I am thinking to myself.
He asks me what I want to drink and goes over to join the queue. At which time, I see a “friend” (I use the term loosely – we are acquaintances more so than friends) of mine and his wife in the queue. They don’t see me and I pretend to be busy on my phone. I mean, I really don’t want them to see me. And so I’m busy busy busy on my phone at which point my “friend” comes over to say hi. And proceeds to chat to me (which is very sweet and endearing of him – because he is genuinely a nice guy!), asks me what I’m doing there. I could hardly tell him I’m on a blind date so I feebly mumble that I’m meeting a friend. AJ is still in the queue and I can feel him watching this whole scene. Thankfully my “friend” and his wife leave before AJ gets back to the table with our drinks.
As AJ sits down, I check out his attire – especially his shoes. For me, I think shoes maketh an outfit and you can tell a lot about a man by the shoes that he wears. Luckily for him, his shoes passed the test. As we sit, conversation flows. The height difference drifts to the back of my mind and I’m not as conscious of it as I was when I saw him. We talk about our families, my “friend”, and just general chit chat. It’s light hearted, fun and easy – just the kind of conversations I like.
Unfortunately, I was working so the meeting was fleet. He offered to walk me back to my car (which I thought was very sweet) and to which I agreed. But it didn’t work out in his favour – I think he came up to my chin btu I could be over exaggerating this.
Getting in my car, I over analysed the situation. Nice guy. But short. Nice personality. But short. Could it work? Perhaps. But he’s short! I didn’t think anything more of the situation as work consumed me.
After work, he called me and we spoke briefly – inane chit chat. Apparently a sign that he was keen (considering he called me the same day!).
He also called Monday – our ritual in this brief space of time being that he calls me as I drive home. And I find out that he has told his mum about me. *shock* Erm.. I do start to stutter a little as I feel as though he’s trying to pin me down into a corner. I think his exact phrase was “if you’re ok with it, I’m ok with it” – With what exactly?
I was under the impression I would be allowed to get to know you – not that you would expect me to marry you just because we get on. I didn’t tell him this though. No. Because I’m a coward. Especially when it comes to
breaking people’s hearts saying no to people.
The issue is avoided and we part amicably. He calls on Tuesday as I drive home from work, and asks me what I’m feeling. This time, I tell him that he’s a nice guy, but I still don’t know him well enough to commit to anything. To which he replies “are you just stringing me along?”. By this point, alarm bells are ringing at the back of my head. “He’s not giving you any time!!” the voice screams at me.
So I say no, I just don’t know you well enough. And he asks me how long until you do? I can’t give you a time span. What will be will be.
And we are now at Wednesday. I want to point out that we have not even known each other for a week. As I’m driving home, I’m on the phone to B. Just talking. He calls and I see the call waiting but I’ll call him back. So he calls again. And I ignore it. And so 20 minutes later he calls again. By this point he has called me 3 times in the space of 30 minutes. I go home, ignore the calls and spend time with my siblings. In the space of 2 hours, he called me 6 times. SIX TIMES! When I call him back, the conversation goes like this (all on his part)
“How come you didn’t answer?”, “Where were you?”, “Why didn’t you call me?”, “Where have you been?”. My mind is screaming “WTF?!”. But I fob him off with an excuse that I was tired and busy. It’s been a long time since I have had to answer to anybody. But after one week? Are you crazy?! Complete and utter turn off. But I still don’t write him off completely. I sought the advice of friends and spent a long time talking about it with Amma. I decide to give him another shot. Because I have to at least try.
Unfortunately for him, his obsessive behaviour did not go down well with my parents. If he’s like this now, what would he have been like after marriage. And Appa wasn’t entirely happy with his profession – the uncertainty of regular income.
And so the proposal was rejected. And I’m back where I started.
But say I don’t find anyone else? That’s what’s scary.