The Inevitable

Baba phoned me the day before I left crying, telling me that he was going to miss me, that I was the most important thing to him. It broke my heart hearing him like this (a lot of it was probably down to the ingestion of a copious amount of alcohol but someone once told me that a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s secrets). I didn’t know what to do. Saying goodbye to him as I got on the plane left me with a heavy heart. But I’d booked it before I knew him.

Arriving in Miami, I had no network. Apparently my phone company are so lame that you need to call them and have your roaming settings turned off before you can use your phone abroad – their loss. They could have made so much money off of me in 9 days!

I managed to call him through Skype when I had Wi-Fi and hearing his voice made me realise how much I missed him. How much I needed to be with him. And so I avoided calling him too much. The time difference made this much easier!

I arrived home last Thursday and was faced with a barrage of texts when I turned my phone on at LHR. “I miss you”, “Baby, I need you”, “Baba this is too hard”… I called him straightaway. The relief in his voice that I was back made me (makes me even now as I think about it) smile. We arranged to make plans to meet that evening but Lady Luck has never been kind to me. My car had a flat tyre and what with it being a bank holiday weekend, not one tyre shop had it in stock to come and fix it for him. Disappointment does not even begin to convey how I felt. But he was so understanding. Especially since I couldn’t see him until Saturday.

On my way home from work on Friday evening, I called Baba and was randomly chatting to him. As I hear footsteps behind me, I tense a little (I’m in a “rough” part of London at 10:00pm. Not good) and hesitate on what I am saying to Baba. As I feel a presence next to me, I turn and there is Baba. I must have squeezed the life out of him.

“I couldn’t wait until tomorrow baby” he tells me. In that moment, I realised that I am completely in love with this boy. Completely. This boy with whom I have no future. This boy with whom I know is probably the best thing to happen to me and yet a boy whose heart I will have to break.

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