Connotations

No one has ever called me beautiful. Well no boy has ever called me beautiful. Not until Baba came along. I have issues as it is with my appearance. Years of comments relating to complexion can mess with your confidence! It’s not that I am unattractive (nor modest apparently!). I have been called hot, sexy, pretty (though this one is mainly by my family) but they just don’t mean the same do they? Beautiful – there’s just something associated with that word that implies that I am good enough. That you must actually love me wholeheartedly to think that.

I remember Baba saying to me as he played me loves songs from Adnan Sami that if he ever came to perform, he’d definitely go and see him. After the flop that was Geneva, I Googled Adnan Sami and lo and behold, he was performing. So I bought two tickets (even though I don’t understand the language, I couldn’t let Baba go on his own could I?!). I wore a saree and was conscious of the fact thatย  wearing heels would probably make me a little taller than him but I had to complete the look. He arrived looking so smart and sexy, it took all my self control to not throw myself at him. He loves the fact that I am so tall, and as we made our way to our seats, he whispered in my ear that I was the most beautiful girl there. *swoon*

As the show went on, I caught Baba occasionally looking at me with so much affection that it was somewhat overwhelming. When I asked him what he was looking at, he just shook his head and took my hand in his. I remember leaving Baba during the break and coming back and he’d charmed the row of aunts and uncles behind us. He has a knack for doing this – talking and winning over random strangers – it’s one of his most love-able qualities.

As we sat in the car outside his house, I caught him looking at me again. “What?!” I ask him. “Nothing. It’s just that no one has ever done that for me before. Done something so selflessly for me. You don’t even understand the language and yet you sat there the whole time and didn’t complain once. Thank you.”

I realise the last sentence on my previous post was a little dramatic. I was over thinking things. Completely. I don’t want to break his heart. I am going to try my damned hardest not to.

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7 thoughts on “Connotations

  1. Wow! Scrumpy! You don’t know how wonderful it is to read your posts and see how beautifully your relationship is thriving. Makes me feel like believing in love once again. Your baba does sound a wonderful person. And guess good attracts good cos that is why he got you. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. awww dude!!! u have SUCH A GOOD THING GOING HERE!
    I get the whole thing about ‘being called beautiful implying that ur good enough’ – you’re one lucky lady (:

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