Baba and I are 6 days away from celebrating the anniversary of our first date – the date where he drank a whole bottle of wine to himself. The date where first he kissed me. And the date where I agreed to another (I’m clearly easily pleased!). We are 6 days away from a few days in Paris. And we are 15 days away from our one year anniversary.
Things have not been easy. I am not the easiest person to have a relationship with – I hold my hands up to that. I get jealous and I am insecure and I am demanding of his time (I’m really not cool!). But that said, I love him wholeheartedly, I would go above and beyond for him and I probably stifle him with my affection!
We gave ourselves a deadline – the end of the year. To see what kind of situation we would be in. How we felt about each other. How our families felt about us. How we felt about us.
My parents are still not aware of my relationship status – well not officially. I’m sure my mother suspects but telling them will make it a big deal. I like having this cocoon of just Baba and I. That there is no pressure from my parents with endless questions of “Do you intend on getting married?” That we don’t have to worry about that side of things. But I’m confused as to what this really means? Do I want to carry on having no responsibility – just be happy in this “cocoon of love”? What do I want?
I mentioned the green eyed monster earlier on in the post – we are different. Culturally and religiously. Some things that he might crave that he could get from someone else. I’m trying to learn the language but it’s easier said than done. I’m reading and immersing myself in his culture but for what? Do I really believe that we can succeed. That our relationship can flourish?
There are so many questions that I need answered. I can only hope they will be.