This is going to be a very haphazard post. Believe me – there will be no flow to it. In fact, it’ll be lots of little snippets of what has been happening. I might just even bullet point it
in chronological to form some sort of order.
- I’m another year older. Oh my God this sucks. I didn’t want to celebrate too much this year and in a bid to introduce baba to my family, I invited a few friends over for lunch/dinner. Baba agreed and in the days leading up to it, I was overcome with nerves. My mother has spoken to him on Skype before so that wasn’t so bad – but he’s never spoken to my father. And we all know that fathers are the ones boys have to convince if they want to marry their daughter (not that I’m saying we will get married but “if” opens a whole world of possibilities! Thankfully he was the first to arrive with flowers for myself, my mum and my sister. And then my mum had to rush off. So once my other friends had all arrived, we sat and chilled. After food was served, my friends and I retreated to the living room. I thought baba would join us but instead he spent the next four hours talking and joking with my dad and my siblings (and my mother once she’d come back!). I would like to think it was a success, but you can never be too sure! I also received a very beautiful cake courtesy of baba. In fact he may have come out of this alright! 🙂
- I hate my job. Seriously – the new job is not how I thought it would be. There’s not enough structure to the role and I really need that with a job. Especially a new one. I’m only 6 months in but I would like to apply for a new one.
- The AP has cut down on their drinking. It’s been great *touch wood* – I don’t know how long it will last for but at this moment in time I am so content with it.
- Baba – we have out ups and downs – we are a flawed couple. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves me but sometimes I think our differences will be our downfall. I am scared of getting hurt. Scared that I have become this vulnerable. That he has this effect on me. We have been together for a while and I still get butterflies every time I talk to him and he is on my mind constantly – this can’t be good for either of us.
- Random snippet of conversations:
- “You are so beautiful. I was looking at photos of us together – we are so hot together” – modesty at its best!
- “You will make a better man out of me – and for that I love you.” – causing my heart to burst with love.
- “I know I do stupid things – but I can’t lose you. Please don’t hurt me” – causing my heart to break.
Confused and unsure – not a good place to be in right now.
- There was a Jodeci/Blackstreet/SWV concert on over the weekend. Many of my friends went but apparently Jodeci were so bad, they got booed off the stage (one of them may have even fallen off the stage!). I was working with a girl on the weekend who is 21 and I mentioned about the concert. Her response “Who’s that?”. She didn’t even know what Sweet Valley High was! This generation is a lost cause! To be fair, she didn’t know that Egypt was in Africa either and I shouldn’t judge but come on?!!!!
- The weather in Britain is cold. I want the spring to start. I miss the sun. It’s getting everyone down – I really want to wear a nice skirt or a nice shirt that is not layered up with thick woolen tights or with jumpers masking it! I want to be pretty again!
And that sums up what has been happening (in a nut shell).
Happy birthday to me! 🙂