Kindness. I have too much of it. I am not blowing my own trumpet. But I forgave him the first time. Gave him the benefit of the doubt. Told myself that I loved him and I could get through this. And yet the wanker goes and does it again (and multiple times I am sure! – Ewwww!).
And again, I found out from the horse’s mouth (per se). When I am ready – I will tell you the whole story. In fact, you couldn’t make this shit up! But I am not ready just yet.
The last few days have not been easy – so many things have not made sense but then so many things do. I was in love with a narcissist. Money and power so much more important that love and compassion. He’s married to a child bride. (well she isn’t a child bride – I don’t want him arrested! but she is very young)
I have known that I haven’t been in love with him for a while. I love him – don’t get me wrong but I am not in love with him. We finished on a high. The last few times when I have tried to walk away it has always been as the result of an argument – my heart not ready to let go. Imagining into the arms of which woman am I sending him to. This time, my heart was ready. We’d had a good trip away. No fighting. Just love and I was happy. I may sound like I am in denial but today the tears have been less.
My best friend – B – she has been amazing. My siblings – amazing. Strangers – amazing.
Put your faith in people – so what if they let you down? There will always be some that exceed expectations and redeem your faith in humanity, compassion and kindness.