My biggest weakness is not kindness – it’s my ability to do stupid things when I am feeling like shit. I joined Plenty of Fish in a moment of madness. I have heard all about it and how it’s basically like a hook up site. And I am not looking for a hook up! I don’t know why I do this to myself. I know it was just for an ego boost – but I really miss O. Well I miss the familiarity of him. I don’t know. However, PoF has proved to be an ego boost – definitely. But in my moment of weakness, I have agreed to a “date”. What was I thinking?! Arghhhhh.
O getting married to a very young girl – all for money and power. The other woman calls me every day to check if I am OK. Talking to her helps me kind of remain close to O. I want the best for him. I want him to be happy. Truly I mean that with all my heart. I want him to find with someone else what he couldn’t find with me. I gave him my all. I invested my time into him. Time that I won’t get back. How can someone pretend and lie so much? Do people not see the damage the that they cause? The only question I have now is why was I so worthless to him?