Tindering

Tinder is not for me I don’t think – actually maybe dating isn’t for me. I had had a few matches and I have actually had a little bit of chat with some of the men on there. But I fear the art of being a gentleman is being lost in the generations of today. So far I have been sent 5 pictures of d*cks, 1 video of a gentleman stroking his d*ck and some topless photos (these aren’t so bad!). I guess that is the generation of Snapchat. The fact that you can send a video/picture and know that it will disappear in 10 seconds.

Men are so quick to talk about sex though – I mean, I am no prude by any means but surely guys know that women are not that quick to talk about sex (purely I think because of the slut shaming that still goes on society – unfortunate I know!). Also, at least try and lull me into a false sense of security. Pretend that you somewhat have an interest in me other than just the fact that the thought of my lips satisfying you turns you on! Honestly, I have looked at my lips in a different light since joining Tinder. My photos are all of me fully clothed with bright eyes and big smiles. But men don’t see this!

You can only communicate with someone on Tinder if they have matched you as well. So last week, I matched someone and he started talking to me. I was like OK – I’m bored at work, let me entertain myself. He was keen to meet and I was going out that evening in the city centre. So I thought let me kill two birds with one stone – this way, I only have to make the effort once! I agreed to meet him at a tube station before I met my friends. We didn’t exchange numbers. So imagine my surprise when I went to message him to tell him that I was running late that he had unmatched me!! So was I supposed to still meet him? He made such an effort to get me to agree so I don’t understand the point of this. I don’t even know what he looked like – that’s how bad it was! I walked past the station we were supposed to meet to realise that there are three exits! I can’t make this shit up. I literally just walked past and hoped that there wasn’t anybody waiting for me!

I think Tinder has done what I needed it to though, which is give my ego a boost – which it was in desperate need of! 🙂

 

A Catch Up

This is going to be a very haphazard post. Believe me – there will be no flow to it. In fact, it’ll be lots of little snippets of what has been happening. I might just even bullet point it in chronological to form some sort of order.

  • I’m another year older. Oh my God this sucks. I didn’t want to celebrate too much this year and in a bid to introduce baba to my family, I invited a few friends over for lunch/dinner. Baba agreed and in the days leading up to it, I was overcome with nerves. My mother has spoken to him on Skype before so that wasn’t so bad – but he’s never spoken to my father. And we all know that fathers are the ones boys have to convince if they want to marry their daughter (not that I’m saying we will get married but “if” opens a whole world of possibilities! Thankfully he was the first to arrive with flowers for myself, my mum and my sister. And then my mum had to rush off. So once my other friends had all arrived, we sat and chilled. After food was served, my friends and I retreated to the living room. I thought baba would join us but instead he spent the next four hours talking and joking with my dad and my siblings (and my mother once she’d come back!). I would like to think it was a success, but you can never be too sure! I also received a very beautiful cake courtesy of baba. In fact he may have come out of this alright! 🙂
  • I hate my job. Seriously – the new job is not how I thought it would be. There’s not enough structure to the role and I really need that with a job. Especially a new one. I’m only 6 months in but I would like to apply for a new one.
  • The AP has cut down on their drinking. It’s been great *touch wood* – I don’t know how long it will last for but at this moment in time I am so content with it.
  • Baba – we have out ups and downs – we are a flawed couple. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves me but sometimes I think our differences will be our downfall. I am scared of getting hurt. Scared that I have become this vulnerable. That he has this effect on me. We have been together for a while and I still get butterflies every time I talk to him and he is on my mind constantly – this can’t be good for either of us.
  • Random snippet of conversations:
  1. “You are so beautiful. I was looking at photos of us together – we are so hot together” – modesty at its best!
  2. “You will make a better man out of me – and for that I love you.” – causing my heart to burst with love.
  3. “I know I do stupid things – but I can’t lose you. Please don’t hurt me” – causing my heart to break.

Confused and unsure – not a good place to be in right now.

  • There was a Jodeci/Blackstreet/SWV concert on over the weekend. Many of my friends went but apparently Jodeci were so bad, they got booed off the stage (one of them may have even fallen off the stage!). I was working with a girl on the weekend who is 21 and I mentioned about the concert. Her response “Who’s that?”. She didn’t even know what Sweet Valley High was! This generation is a lost cause! To be fair, she didn’t know that Egypt was in Africa either and I shouldn’t judge but come on?!!!!
  • The weather in Britain is cold. I want the spring to start. I miss the sun. It’s getting everyone down – I really want to wear a nice skirt or a nice shirt that is not layered up with thick woolen tights or with jumpers masking it! I want to be pretty again!

And that sums up what has been happening (in a nut shell).

Happy birthday to me! 🙂

It’s Finally Here!

London 2012 people. I cannot stress how excited I am. I have been waiting for this day to arrive for what seems like a lifetime. The Olympics. In my home city. In my lifetime. I know we have had our share of disasters – some a little bit more extreme than others. BUT this is a city that knows how to deal with disasters. We are a people who deal with adversity in the best way we know how – with each other. With the resolve that some people mistake for the British stiff upper lip.

London 2012 is going to be amazing. The vibe that is around the city is intense, immense and overwhelming all at the same time. The diversity that is usually London has only just got better.

I would love to see Team GB smash the ball out of the park at their home Olympics but at the end of the day – everyone will be behind them and will be proud of them no matter what the outcome. Because as a nation, we are soldiers. And we’ll try our hardest to succeed.

So proud to be a Londoner today. Go Team GB!

Let the games begin!

Emotions

Shame. Disbelief. Anger. Tearful. Disgust. Pride. Just a few of the emotions that I am feeling today.

No doubt you will have seen or heard about the riots taking place in London.

I was supposed to work last night in north west London but they called me to cancel my shift because they were closing down stores as a precaution.

I spent the next three hours glued to my TV and reading Facebook status updates and twitter.

There are two main implications as to why these riots have started:

i) Off of the back of the police shooting of Mark Duggan

ii) The cuts imposed by the government leading to a lack of facilities for these youths.

Shame – I am ashamed to think that those rioting are fellow Londoners. I am a Londoner – born and bred. I am very proud of my city. I am very proud of the fact that so many different cultures can live together so closely with little animosity. I am proud that it is a city that despite the hardships we face, its people get up and continue with their livelihoods. But these mindless yobs are a disgrace to everything that London stands for.

Disbelief – How is it that these Neanderthals think that this is acceptable behaviour? They’re not doing this to avenge the death of Mark Duggan – the majority of them won’t even know who he is. If anything, his death is in vain if these are the consequences. The pictures and scenes of violence leave me open mouthed. There is no need for this kind of behaviour. Disbelief because I have heard people criticise the Metropolitan Police and the London Fire brigade. Are you fucking kidding me?! They put their lives at risk over the last few days (and I’m not sure it’s over yet!). The riots were all over London. The police and the fire brigade did their very best to respond to all calls I’m sure but we has a city have to be that little bit understanding.

I refuse to believe that there is a social class aspect to this. I am of working class. I grew up in a poor borough of London but I know how to behave. I regularly went without but to this day, I wouldn’t steal anything to get what I want. If you want something, you should work for it.

I also refuse to believe that this is because of a lack of respect towards young people. We were all young once. I know young people and I can safely say that I have never been inclined to behave like this. The young people I know do not behave like this. If you behave like you demonstrated last night you will not get any respect off of me. You reap what you sow and your actions last night will have led to the worst karma you can possibly receive.

Anger – I am angry. How the fuck is it that we stood by and let this happen? If every law abiding citizen in their town took to the streets and threw the missiles back at these louts, maybe they’d see sense. I’m angry at the response by the British Government. In my organisation of 24000, I am not allowed to take annual leave at the same time as my counterparts. So how can the Prime Minister, the Deputy Prime Minister, the Mayor of London and pretty much all those who run our country go on holiday at the same time?! What took Mr Cameron so long to return? As soon as there were burning buildings in London – someone should have shown some leadership and given the city some guidance. I’m angry that the police are not allowed to beat the shit out of these fuckwits.

Tearful – There were riots in Lewisham & Croydon yesterday. Places very close to my heart for a variety of reasons. It saddens me deeply to see not just these places but London in flames. It’s made me teary to see the innocent shops and livelihoods lost due to sheer yob culture and mob mentality. It saddens me that if this is how some of the youth behave today, what hope is there for the future of this country?

Disgust – How are they capable of the mindset that burning buildings is the way forward? What can they possibly achieve from that? You’re shitting in your own front yards you fucking idiots!

I am disgusted by the parents of these fuckers. Were you just sitting at home watching them create this havoc? How can you be proud of this kind of behaviour? If your kid wasn’t at home after 10:00 last night – find out where they were and do the right thing. If they were even a smidgen involved – take the appropriate actions. I don’t see why you would protect fuckers with that kind of mentality. Give parents more powers to discipline their kids. We are close to becoming that much more of a nanny state. When I was younger, if I was doing something wrong, my parents had a look. Just being given the look was enough for me to stop what I was doing, apologise and go to my room. Because I knew the consequences if I didn’t!

The parents of these fuckers should also be made an example of of. They haven’t raised children, they’ve raised savages.

Pride – I am proud of the camaraderie of Londoners. I am proud that we get up and we go about our daily business. I am proud that the behaviour shown by those last night is not representative of a whole generation. I am proud that Londoners are coming together to start the long cleanup process. I am proud that we are not and will not bow down to this thuggish behaviour by these ignorant fuckers. I refuse to call them young people – they are an embarrassment to them.

They say that society has failed them. That the police have failed them – the targets of unnecessary stop and searches. That schools fail them. That the government have failed them. But that’s bollocks. Their parents failed them. But with these actions, they’ve failed themselves more than any other aspect could have.