A young boy gave his seat up for me on the train yesterday. I am not sure if I should be flattered or distraught. Flattered because I’m a female and he was being chivalrous (also he was getting off at the stop after which I’d got on) or distraught because he thought I was too old or too pregnant to stand!
Let’s go with the flattered. Makes me feel better!
I’m in a much (MUCH) better place now than I was last week. I’ve spoken to B. I’ve spoken to Baba. I’ve spoken to my family. I’m ok. I think the main cause of last week has a lot to do with the contraceptive pill. As a result, I am seeing my GP today to change it.
And I have started dieting again. I am not the weak willed person I painted myself to be. There is a lot more to me than that. I just needed to realise it. And I have. Today marks a new beginning.
No one has ever called me beautiful. Well no boy has ever called me beautiful. Not until Baba came along. I have issues as it is with my appearance. Years of comments relating to complexion can mess with your confidence! It’s not that I am unattractive (nor modest apparently!). I have been called hot, sexy, pretty (though this one is mainly by my family) but they just don’t mean the same do they? Beautiful – there’s just something associated with that word that implies that I am good enough. That you must actually love me wholeheartedly to think that.
I remember Baba saying to me as he played me loves songs from Adnan Sami that if he ever came to perform, he’d definitely go and see him. After the flop that was Geneva, I Googled Adnan Sami and lo and behold, he was performing. So I bought two tickets (even though I don’t understand the language, I couldn’t let Baba go on his own could I?!). I wore a saree and was conscious of the fact that wearing heels would probably make me a little taller than him but I had to complete the look. He arrived looking so smart and sexy, it took all my self control to not throw myself at him. He loves the fact that I am so tall, and as we made our way to our seats, he whispered in my ear that I was the most beautiful girl there. *swoon*
As the show went on, I caught Baba occasionally looking at me with so much affection that it was somewhat overwhelming. When I asked him what he was looking at, he just shook his head and took my hand in his. I remember leaving Baba during the break and coming back and he’d charmed the row of aunts and uncles behind us. He has a knack for doing this – talking and winning over random strangers – it’s one of his most love-able qualities.
As we sat in the car outside his house, I caught him looking at me again. “What?!” I ask him. “Nothing. It’s just that no one has ever done that for me before. Done something so selflessly for me. You don’t even understand the language and yet you sat there the whole time and didn’t complain once. Thank you.”
I realise the last sentence on my previous post was a little dramatic. I was over thinking things. Completely. I don’t want to break his heart. I am going to try my damned hardest not to.
What can I say – I wasn’t the average person over the holidays but I didn’t lose weight. So being back at work has really given me the kick up the arse I needed. I lost 1.5lbs this week, Could definitely have done with that being a few more but it’s just given me the incentive to try harder. Maybe fit in a little more exercise. However, it doesn’t help when your boyfriend is stick thin with the skinniest arms and legs. Man – he’s so skinny!
Nor does it help when you have weekends and holidays planned! 2012 so far:
January – Brighton (for the weekend)
Febraury – Geneva, Switzerland (for 5 nights). I haven’t found accommodation yet though. It’s proving to be sooooooooo expensive!
March – Miami, FL, USA (for a week)
2012 isn’t shaping out to be too badly but then I am dating a guy who’s not the same religion as me so it probably won’t all be a bed of roses!
My favourite post this year is without a shadow of a doubt this one.
For the unexpectedness of it all but mostly for the beautiful nature of it!
Season Greetings to you and your loved ones.
(P.S. I have lost another 2lbs this week and the average person puts on 5lbs over the Christmas period – don’t be that average person! :-P)
If someone tells you you’re beautiful enough, is it wrong to start believing it?
It’s confirmed. I am not hideous. Something which I questioned irrefutably this weekend (refer to this!) and the last few weekends actually.
A HOT guy asked me for my number on Sunday. It’s been so long since I’ve actually been asked for my number, I forgot what it feels like. That feeling of “wow, you think I’m attractive?” followed by “awww, you think I’m attractive!”.
A very nice boost to the ego which was in desperate need of boosting.
I know you’re all going to ask whether I gave it to him or not. I haven’t yet. Because. I have issues.
Wow – New Years Eve. I feel as though it’s come around too quickly. This is only going to be a small reflective post. I mean – you guys have been through most of it with me.
I have been a lil‘ busy – Athens, Frankfurt and Paris all to blog about. And I will do that as soon as – but being at work means I can’t upload photos and we all know that trips need photos!
Pseudo has inspired me with her post and I thought I should do the same. After all, it’s Christmas (as good as)!
Mariah Carey – All I want For Christmas – Before she became all hoe-ish!
Wham – Last Christmas
Miley Cyrus’ Version – Rockin‘ Around the Christmas Tree
OK – I could go on and put it out there (even further) at how bad my musical taste is but the most important song that reminds me of Christmas is the next one.
Coca Cola – Holidays are Coming