Emotions

Shame. Disbelief. Anger. Tearful. Disgust. Pride. Just a few of the emotions that I am feeling today.

No doubt you will have seen or heard about the riots taking place in London.

I was supposed to work last night in north west London but they called me to cancel my shift because they were closing down stores as a precaution.

I spent the next three hours glued to my TV and reading Facebook status updates and twitter.

There are two main implications as to why these riots have started:

i) Off of the back of the police shooting of Mark Duggan

ii) The cuts imposed by the government leading to a lack of facilities for these youths.

Shame – I am ashamed to think that those rioting are fellow Londoners. I am a Londoner – born and bred. I am very proud of my city. I am very proud of the fact that so many different cultures can live together so closely with little animosity. I am proud that it is a city that despite the hardships we face, its people get up and continue with their livelihoods. But these mindless yobs are a disgrace to everything that London stands for.

Disbelief – How is it that these Neanderthals think that this is acceptable behaviour? They’re not doing this to avenge the death of Mark Duggan – the majority of them won’t even know who he is. If anything, his death is in vain if these are the consequences. The pictures and scenes of violence leave me open mouthed. There is no need for this kind of behaviour. Disbelief because I have heard people criticise the Metropolitan Police and the London Fire brigade. Are you fucking kidding me?! They put their lives at risk over the last few days (and I’m not sure it’s over yet!). The riots were all over London. The police and the fire brigade did their very best to respond to all calls I’m sure but we has a city have to be that little bit understanding.

I refuse to believe that there is a social class aspect to this. I am of working class. I grew up in a poor borough of London but I know how to behave. I regularly went without but to this day, I wouldn’t steal anything to get what I want. If you want something, you should work for it.

I also refuse to believe that this is because of a lack of respect towards young people. We were all young once. I know young people and I can safely say that I have never been inclined to behave like this. The young people I know do not behave like this. If you behave like you demonstrated last night you will not get any respect off of me. You reap what you sow and your actions last night will have led to the worst karma you can possibly receive.

Anger – I am angry. How the fuck is it that we stood by and let this happen? If every law abiding citizen in their town took to the streets and threw the missiles back at these louts, maybe they’d see sense. I’m angry at the response by the British Government. In my organisation of 24000, I am not allowed to take annual leave at the same time as my counterparts. So how can the Prime Minister, the Deputy Prime Minister, the Mayor of London and pretty much all those who run our country go on holiday at the same time?! What took Mr Cameron so long to return? As soon as there were burning buildings in London – someone should have shown some leadership and given the city some guidance. I’m angry that the police are not allowed to beat the shit out of these fuckwits.

Tearful – There were riots in Lewisham & Croydon yesterday. Places very close to my heart for a variety of reasons. It saddens me deeply to see not just these places but London in flames. It’s made me teary to see the innocent shops and livelihoods lost due to sheer yob culture and mob mentality. It saddens me that if this is how some of the youth behave today, what hope is there for the future of this country?

Disgust – How are they capable of the mindset that burning buildings is the way forward? What can they possibly achieve from that? You’re shitting in your own front yards you fucking idiots!

I am disgusted by the parents of these fuckers. Were you just sitting at home watching them create this havoc? How can you be proud of this kind of behaviour? If your kid wasn’t at home after 10:00 last night – find out where they were and do the right thing. If they were even a smidgen involved – take the appropriate actions. I don’t see why you would protect fuckers with that kind of mentality. Give parents more powers to discipline their kids. We are close to becoming that much more of a nanny state. When I was younger, if I was doing something wrong, my parents had a look. Just being given the look was enough for me to stop what I was doing, apologise and go to my room. Because I knew the consequences if I didn’t!

The parents of these fuckers should also be made an example of of. They haven’t raised children, they’ve raised savages.

Pride – I am proud of the camaraderie of Londoners. I am proud that we get up and we go about our daily business. I am proud that the behaviour shown by those last night is not representative of a whole generation. I am proud that Londoners are coming together to start the long cleanup process. I am proud that we are not and will not bow down to this thuggish behaviour by these ignorant fuckers. I refuse to call them young people – they are an embarrassment to them.

They say that society has failed them. That the police have failed them – the targets of unnecessary stop and searches. That schools fail them. That the government have failed them. But that’s bollocks. Their parents failed them. But with these actions, they’ve failed themselves more than any other aspect could have.

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It Can Only Get Better!

I bet you’re dying to know how the “meet-up” went?

Piss poor really. There are plenty of other adjectives to sum it up but why waste words.

Thankfully it didn’t take place at home. At the last minute, he somewhat redeemed himself and suggested coffee and I may have surprised him at how quickly I agreed!

We both arrived relatively at the same time so at least there wasn’t any awkward waiting around. But there was definitely more awkward moments than needed. He was taller than me – bonus and he was nice enough looking. But that doesn’t mean I found the rubbish coming out of his mouth attractive. I think he found my independence slightly intimidating especially when I had an opinion on stuff. To be fair, I’m sure he’s a very nice guy but he’s just not my very nice guy. And he’s called a few times since but I did tell him on the last call that it won’t work out. I think he was as relieved as I was!

And if you thought that was bad, I have been roped into going into Tamil Speed Dating on Saturday – oh the joys of being single!

My Very Own Tamil Movie Moment Gone Wrong!

You know how they say that girls dream of fairytale endings? You know, how we watch too much Disney movies and rom-coms and want to believe that our prince Charming is out there and our love story will be one of those like an all time classic? Well I’m not one of them. Sure, I believe in true love and truly want to believe that my Prince Charming is out there but past experiences lead me to be believe that this is unlikely. Besides, I’ve always envisaged my life as a bit of a Tamil film. Boy and girl meet. Fall in love. Parents don’t agree. Boy beats up potential father in law. Potential father in law sets right all his wrong and accepts boy with open arms . I’ve never understood these by the way but they make entertaining viewing.

Last Sunday it was time for my “fantasy” to become a “reality”.

Amma received the details of some boy (SB). SB’s mum was here and she spoke to my mum and they swapped charts and it was agreed that me and SB would get to know each other. This was about 10 days ago. Sunday morning, my amma pulls back my duvet and tells me that “they” are coming to see me. “Who?” I ask pulling back the duvet over my head and closing my eyes in the hope she’d leave me alone! “SB and co” she replies. WTF? Why do they want to see me for? What?! And I was induced into panicking – HARD!

“Ponnu Paarkurathu” (Bride viewing in English), was not something I’d really anticipated. At all. What to wear? How to style my hair? And having never having done this, my only reference being Tamil films!

I didn’t want to be there. I ended up wearing a shalwar kameez, left my hair in its curly ringlets and waited. Their arrival was sounded by the doorbell and I waited in the dining room. SB’s mum, sister and brother in law had come. No SB – erm… OK… Surely this was a two way thing – I should get to see him as well right? I waited and waited and thought that I would get away with not having to see them when my aunt called me. And it was awful. I felt like such a cliché, looking at the floor as I walked in. And this is not because I was going for the demure and shy look (because I’m hardly that am I?!)! but purely because I didn’t know where else to look – I didn’t want to make eye contact with any of them. And then my mum said “Oh, you can look up”. So I did and they spoke about me as if I wasn’t there. I stayed for about 7 minutes before I said “OK – I’m going back next door now” and ran like an elephant walked like an angel out of the door.

And then about 10 minutes later, they left. With photos of me. Saying that they liked me. Well, jolly good for you! SB called me later that night. Said he’d seen my photos and would like to meet me. Can he come to my house this weekend?! MY HOUSE?! Can’t we meet in a coffee shop like our other modern day peers?! I said OK – because I know that that’s what my amma would want me to do.

I’ve had two conversations with SB since then. We have nothing in common. He doesn’t go out. He doesn’t like girls to go out after a certain time. Our first conversation ended like this:

SB: “Can I ask you a question?”
Scrumps: “Of course”
SB: “What would you do if I told you weren’t allowed out somewhere that you wanted to go to?”
Scrumps: *cough* *splutter* “I think my mum’s calling me. Can I call you back later?”

And now I have to call him tonight (coz he called me last night) and I have to meet him on Sunday.

What a load of bollocks!

Mortified

Since buying Hector, I have started taking the train to and from work. This usually takes me an hour and a half considering that I work somewhere in outer Mongolia! (OK – a slight exaggeration.)

In order to keep myself occupied, I’ve started using the time to my advantage and have started catching up on all the American series’ that I watch (Vampire Diaries, Hawaii 5-O, The Mentalist, Nikita, 90210 etc….). I’m currently up to date on all of these so I thought I’d start watching a new one (hey – I have to use the time on the train!) so I downloaded True Blood. I’d heard good things about it so I thought I’d give it a go.

I work along a popular route you see and my train gets quite packed. I’m fortunate however to be able to grab a seat as I get on at the very first stop. I usually choose a two seater and sit next to the window. Just because it’s a little secluded and I’m not in a bay of 4 or 6 and have to rest my netbook on my lap (the two seaters have the fold down trays).

There I was this morning watching the very first episode of True Blood when up pops the image of a woman’s breasts and the scene goes on to show a man with his face in a very sensitive area of hers (tastefully done obviously)! OK – so it wasn’t on there for long – 2 seconds at the most but it felt like a minute to me. I didn’t make eye contact with anyone on the train because I didn’t want them to think that I was watching porn (Not that there’s anything wrong with watching porn but a time and place people!) God knows what the lady sitting next to me must have thought! I spent the next 30 minutes apprehensively watching the rest of the episode praying that nothing of the same nature came up.

Maybe I should rethink my choice of train appropriate viewing material!

Oh My Good Lord!

For the love of God people! Just because I am single and you are all coupled up, it does not mean that I need you to hold my hand at every single social event or assume that I will be uncomfortable around couples or be able to fend for myself or sit in a corner wallowing!

Get over yourselves!

Pre-Christmas Gripe

I know I haven’t blogged but it’s been a busy month and I have yet to upload my Athens or Budapest photos but those posts will follow over the next few days (she said quite optimistically!).

Athens was interesting – and here comes my gripe. Recently heartbroken girl (me btw!), newly married friend (B) and recently engaged friend(St) travelling. A lil‘ sympathy wouldn’t go amiss right? I mean – I am happy to embrace all things wedding and coupley but seriously – all the fucking time?! Give me a break. There were more times than I would have liked where I was totally excluded from the conversation. You’d think that as my friends – they would have sensed the tone but apparently my lack of input into the 500th of these conversations didn’t make a difference!

And as the weather worsens in Britain, my lack of not attempting to travel to B’s Christmas dinner has been discretely broadcast against me on FB! I’m sorry – because I was sensible and didn’t want to risk my life or my car, I’m a bad friend.

And here begins the first of my resolutions for 2011

  • Stop trying to please everybody.